It’s a mythical creature lurking in the halls of the Great American Beer Festival, a thing you suspect could, perhaps, exist, maybe — a beer fest-goer who survives a night of quaffing without getting drunk.
This semi-sober yeti isn’t an urban legend. It’s real. I’ve done it. I went to GABF and didn’t get drunk.
It’s surprisingly simple. If you follow all of the tips GABF veterans dish out to first timers — and I mean really follow it — staying somewhat sober happens naturally. ‘—
It does require discipline, though. The inebriation deck is stacked against you at the granddaddy of American beer festivals. There’s the unlimited chance to sample more than 3,800 beers one ounce at a time. Add to that the heavy obligation of the price of entry, the salty pretzel necklaces begging for a chaser, the air of revelry in the big beer hall bathed in ale-hued light, and it’s no wonder I spent my first GABF, to partially quote a certain Colorado beer, hazed and confused.
For round two, I stuck to the advice of my festival forebears: plan ahead, get there early, eat more, use the buckets (they’re there to dump beer into). I also followed a strict consumption rule and didn’t finish anything that didn’t put a smile on my face. Day One, I left sober, after sampling from more than 30 breweries. And I wasn’t hung over for Day Two. I felt like I’d conquered GABF.
You might not share my goal. That’s reasonable. Regardless, your GABF will be better if you follow some of these tips. At the very least, you’ll last longer on the beer hall floor — maybe long enough to spot the sober yeti.
Plan, plan, plan. With more than 800 breweries pouring in a cavernous convention hall echoing with the chatter of tens of thousands of beer fans, it’s no wonder that GABF can overwhelm. Plan ahead so you know what to do when you enter the cacophony. Research ahead of time and pick out the breweries you want to visit, particular beers you want to seek out (this might be last minute info) and brewers you want to talk to in person at Meet the Brewer.
Another important thing to plan ahead: how you’ll get home safely after the festival ends each night.
Download the app. The GABF app is home base for your plan. The app lets you mark your breweries ahead of time and search for beers in categories you love, such as session beers, Belgian ales, sours, hoppiest beers and so on (this feature isn’t live on the app yet but should be just before the festival opens). You can also track beers as you try them at the festival, which is helpful for comparing notes with your friends — and shopping later. The app also has a festival map (essential), schedule of events and a list of last year’s winning beers. —
Know the layout. This is a big festival, and the layout changed this year. Check out the map before you go. Also note that breweries are organized by region, but a brewery you’re looking for might be in the Meet the Brewer section instead of its region. Check the brewery’s location via the app.
Eat before you go. This is a no-brainer, but sometimes the obvious must be stated: Starting this festival with a belly full of food will help you soak up the suds.
Arrive early. Yes, there will be a line to get in if you head to GABF early. It’s worth the wait. As the evening wears on, the lines at hot breweries grow and the popular beers disappear — breweries only bring so much of their best stuff. Get in the door early so you don’t miss out.
Follow the buzz. OK, yes, I told you to plan, plan, plan. That’s because planning will help you through the distraction — and there’s plenty of it. But don’t plan yourself out of GABF kismet. Talk to people in line; you might learn about a new brewery. Let a friend drag you to a new beer you just have to try. Throw the discipline of your list out the window, savor the joy of a delightful find … and then get back to your list until serendipity strikes again.
Use the buckets. Do you like every beer you try? Neither do I. That’s why I use the buckets breweries have at the end of their tables. I gave myself a rule at last year’s GABF: Only finish a pour of something you really like; dump anything you don’t like three sips in. If you’re too embarrassed to dump beer — and the pours sometimes get more liberal as the night goes on — in front of the brewer, walk away and dump it elsewhere. There are buckets everywhere.
Drink water. Water stations are all over the place, too. I never pass one without rinsing and filling up the 1-ounce glass they give you at the door. Last year I also stashed an empty bottle in my purse that I filled at a water station once I was inside. Out-of-towners: Hangovers at altitude are terrible. Drink a lot of water. Seriously. —
Celebrate elsewhere. GABF is the hub for a week’s worth of events all over the state — including tap takeovers. Many of the best breweries don’t pour at GABF, or run out fast. But you can find their kegs all over town: Just check out our calendar of GABF-related events. —
Hit the secret stashes. Ask brewers if they’re pouring anything not listed; they might have a secret keg of something special. Also, get out of the beer regions and head to the Heavy Medal Booth, where you can sample past GABF winners, and Craft Guilds Pavilion, where guilds from various states will be pouring beers you won’t find elsewhere at the festival.
OK, one more bit of advice:
Plan WAY ahead. Paired, a side attraction that serves small plates with rare beers, is pricey, but it might be the best sideshow at GABF. It’s not just that everything is tasty — you’ll also pick up ideas for how to pair beer with dinner at home. You’ve missed the window for tickets this year, but next year, pony up for Paired. When you’re sipping a stout with a salted-caramel mini sundae, you’ll be glad you splurged.
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